Fat Guys

I'm taking a swimming class at the U that just started last week. Even though I know how to swim I signed up for a lower level because the time slot was better. But that's irrelevant to my story other than the fact that there are lots of fat guys in the class that don't swim very well. Bless their hearts for trying to get in shape though...

Half way through the class on Tuesday, Fat guy number one introduced himself from two lanes away. We'll call him Rash Guard. (Who wears rash guards to an indoor lap pool?? answer: fat guys) He said. "I don't think we've met before. What's your name?" After our brief conversation, right before I swam away he left me with this stupid and unnecessary remark:

"They didn't used to be so tough on us fat kids!"

I sort of half-laughed and then I was gone, thinking to myself, "why do all fat guys have to make stupid jokes about their weight?"

Fat guy number two: Tattoo (he has a bunch of random tattoos in random places) came up to me when I was putting my kick board back in the bin. He asked my name and how old I was and when my birthday was (next week!) and what I was planning to do for my birthday and who I was planning on doing it with and which night these plans were for. For the last time! I don't know what I'm doing for my birthday!! And even if I did, why would I tell him about it? did he want an invitation or what? it was awkward and annoying and I was completely uninterested in talking to him.

Then he said "well, happy birthday. I'll probably wish you happy birthday again next week too, so you can look forward to that." yes, Tattoo, I can't wait.

the lesson that I learned that day is that I should never go to swimming class without a ring on my finger.